Real, Genuine, Hard and Fast and Exhilirating News
I have an announcement!
Thanks to the good graces of my friend Jenny Rappaport and her boss Lori Perkins, I am interning to the L.Perkins literary Agency (entirely online of course, since they're in New York).
What does that mean, you ask? Well, primarily it means that I filter unsolicited queries for Lori and Jenny. Lori's blog is here and Jenny's is here. For those unfamiliar with all this literary stuff, a query is basically a one-to-two paragraph blurb about your novel, with some personal information added. The information about the novel is the kind of thing you would see on the back of a paperback. A quick, hooky overview of the main characters and primary conflicts. Personal information is limited to relevant stuff like where you've published before, or what your experience is with what you write about. For example, if you write medieval fantasy and you have a PhD in medieval studies, you would include that.
Also, I'm not averse if people include the first few pages of the novel pasted into the email (as long as they know I'll skip and read that first, before the query).
I am qualified to do this because of my English degree (one of the only things it's good for), my experience helping to create and edit the UVSC magazine Warp and Weave.
So my first week of interning has been both rewarding and overwhelming. You would not believe how much mail these ladies get. And so far, a lot of it is good. There are a few that make really big mistakes, like spelling the agency's name wrong or start off by saying, "I know you'll just ignore this because it's unsolicited..." (So you know we're a snobby elitist club, but you want in anyway?) The majority are well-written and interesting, though. So far I've requested novel partials from probably twenty percent of the submissions, which is more than I expected.
I made up what I thought was the perfect rejection letter. After discussing it with Lori, I've discarded it in favor of a much shorter "This isn't what we're looking for." There is too much one could read into said perfect letter. But I'm going to reproduce it here before it dies, because this list seriously covers EVERY query so far. If I reject you, I guarantee that one of the reasons is here.
Ahem:
Most queries don't make it past the first stage for one of three reasons. 1) There is an error--some glaring bit of grammatical messiness, or you sent us something we don't represent, like a screenplay. 2) There is not enough information about the story. You may have over-described the setting in post-apocalyptic London without giving me any information about the main character and her conflict, or vice versa. 3) Personal preference. Most of the agents at this agency don't like the famous "Jesus complex" stories, for instance. The Jesus complex can be done well--think of the first Matrix film--but it's not something we're interested in trying to sell. There is a good chance your novel is just not our thing.
Because this is my blog and I can go on for hours, I want to elaborate a little bit. When someone writes reason 3, I often send a personalized note. Lori's told me that she has little interest in stories about the South. I got a very funny query written in deep Southern drawl. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm obsessed with Dixie, but I knew that this would just not work for Lori or Jenny. So I sent the author a nice letter explaining that she is very good, and she should find an agent who can really get behind her story.
For the most part, though, the queries are rejected for reason 2, and for the example I gave. So far I have seen so many queries that hit an interesting idea or offer a unique fantasy world but don't give me a reason to care. It's like trying to sell The Prestige just by saying, "It's a movie based on the structure of a magic trick." Yes, that's cool. But it's much more effective (for me, anyway) if you say, "It's a film about two amateur magicians, one of whom blames the other for his wife's death. Over the course of their careers, they become rivals and devote more and more energy to stealing each other's tricks. And the film is structured like a magic trick--often the director deliberately diverts your attention from the secrets behind the scenes." Now you've told me a little bit about the people involved with the story, and you've introduced the cool idea to go with it.
Reason 1 is the hardest one, because they get so little thought from me. I hate that. I do send notes that say, "We don't represent screenplays." But if someone can't spell Lori or Jenny's name correctly... or if their novel is announced with "The greatest romance since, Gone With the Wind, is finally here!" then they are automatically trashed. (Unfortunately for almost everyone, I'm a total comma Nazi. I will forgive a few missteps, but if you can't introduce yourselves without mangling the poor things, find a good proofreader.)
Reason 1 bothers me a lot because I really want to care about these submissions. I'm in the same place these people are. No editor has ever asked for my novels. The best I can hope for is that some other intern will take an interest and move on my partials, same as I do with these submissions. I love doing this. I wouldn't do it for free otherwise. I read queries for half an hour this morning before I left for work at 6:15.
So, that's my new bag, along with the full-time job, the pregnant wife, and the occasional stabs at writing something new and brilliant. Watch this space for seedy intern updates.
Thanks to the good graces of my friend Jenny Rappaport and her boss Lori Perkins, I am interning to the L.Perkins literary Agency (entirely online of course, since they're in New York).
What does that mean, you ask? Well, primarily it means that I filter unsolicited queries for Lori and Jenny. Lori's blog is here and Jenny's is here. For those unfamiliar with all this literary stuff, a query is basically a one-to-two paragraph blurb about your novel, with some personal information added. The information about the novel is the kind of thing you would see on the back of a paperback. A quick, hooky overview of the main characters and primary conflicts. Personal information is limited to relevant stuff like where you've published before, or what your experience is with what you write about. For example, if you write medieval fantasy and you have a PhD in medieval studies, you would include that.
Also, I'm not averse if people include the first few pages of the novel pasted into the email (as long as they know I'll skip and read that first, before the query).
I am qualified to do this because of my English degree (one of the only things it's good for), my experience helping to create and edit the UVSC magazine Warp and Weave.
So my first week of interning has been both rewarding and overwhelming. You would not believe how much mail these ladies get. And so far, a lot of it is good. There are a few that make really big mistakes, like spelling the agency's name wrong or start off by saying, "I know you'll just ignore this because it's unsolicited..." (So you know we're a snobby elitist club, but you want in anyway?) The majority are well-written and interesting, though. So far I've requested novel partials from probably twenty percent of the submissions, which is more than I expected.
I made up what I thought was the perfect rejection letter. After discussing it with Lori, I've discarded it in favor of a much shorter "This isn't what we're looking for." There is too much one could read into said perfect letter. But I'm going to reproduce it here before it dies, because this list seriously covers EVERY query so far. If I reject you, I guarantee that one of the reasons is here.
Ahem:
Most queries don't make it past the first stage for one of three reasons. 1) There is an error--some glaring bit of grammatical messiness, or you sent us something we don't represent, like a screenplay. 2) There is not enough information about the story. You may have over-described the setting in post-apocalyptic London without giving me any information about the main character and her conflict, or vice versa. 3) Personal preference. Most of the agents at this agency don't like the famous "Jesus complex" stories, for instance. The Jesus complex can be done well--think of the first Matrix film--but it's not something we're interested in trying to sell. There is a good chance your novel is just not our thing.
Because this is my blog and I can go on for hours, I want to elaborate a little bit. When someone writes reason 3, I often send a personalized note. Lori's told me that she has little interest in stories about the South. I got a very funny query written in deep Southern drawl. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm obsessed with Dixie, but I knew that this would just not work for Lori or Jenny. So I sent the author a nice letter explaining that she is very good, and she should find an agent who can really get behind her story.
For the most part, though, the queries are rejected for reason 2, and for the example I gave. So far I have seen so many queries that hit an interesting idea or offer a unique fantasy world but don't give me a reason to care. It's like trying to sell The Prestige just by saying, "It's a movie based on the structure of a magic trick." Yes, that's cool. But it's much more effective (for me, anyway) if you say, "It's a film about two amateur magicians, one of whom blames the other for his wife's death. Over the course of their careers, they become rivals and devote more and more energy to stealing each other's tricks. And the film is structured like a magic trick--often the director deliberately diverts your attention from the secrets behind the scenes." Now you've told me a little bit about the people involved with the story, and you've introduced the cool idea to go with it.
Reason 1 is the hardest one, because they get so little thought from me. I hate that. I do send notes that say, "We don't represent screenplays." But if someone can't spell Lori or Jenny's name correctly... or if their novel is announced with "The greatest romance since, Gone With the Wind, is finally here!" then they are automatically trashed. (Unfortunately for almost everyone, I'm a total comma Nazi. I will forgive a few missteps, but if you can't introduce yourselves without mangling the poor things, find a good proofreader.)
Reason 1 bothers me a lot because I really want to care about these submissions. I'm in the same place these people are. No editor has ever asked for my novels. The best I can hope for is that some other intern will take an interest and move on my partials, same as I do with these submissions. I love doing this. I wouldn't do it for free otherwise. I read queries for half an hour this morning before I left for work at 6:15.
So, that's my new bag, along with the full-time job, the pregnant wife, and the occasional stabs at writing something new and brilliant. Watch this space for seedy intern updates.
Labels: L.Perkins Agency, Literary Intern
posted by Spencer at 9:18 PM
4 Comments:
Hey! I was the one who pointed out to you that "The Prestige" is structured like a magic trick! And you mentioned it here! Woo-hoo for me! And if you try to say you already knew that I will kick you in the shins, because you totally didn't. And yay for your internship! I don't know a TON about the writing/publishing/other stuff world, but I think that will probably be AWESOME for your resume, and also just a really cool thing to do. And you are cool! YAY FOR YOU!
Interesting. As a fellow alum, can I ask what you're going to put on your resume now that UVSC once they change the name of the school? Will you put the old name or the new name?
It's somewhat less urgent in my case, since I also graduated from the University of Utah and would generally list that first.
I have to laugh at the "Comma Nazi" thing. I used to use so many extraneous commas that one of my English teachers told me she'd have to put less red ink on my papers if I used nary a one. Just filling in necessary commas would take a lot less work than taking out all the inappropriate ones. Ever since then, I am completely comma-paranoid and go through my manuscripts ruthlessly eliminating them. I suspect this actually leads to fewer commas than necessary, but such is life.
This is useful :)
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