10 Reasons Not to do NaNoWriMo
People are always asking me, "What's that lump on your head?" When I refuse to answer, sometimes they ask, "Why aren't you doing NaNoWriMo?" (National Novel Writing Month, in which you pound out fifty thousand words or about two hundred pages in one month.)
Ten reasons.
10. November 15th is the start of seal-hunting season. Novels are all well and good, but a man needs blubber.
9. My "world's best writer" coffee mug just broke and now I'm useless.
8. I tried to tune my Mormon brain-sucking powers to pick up my fellow writers' talent, but instead I got President Obama's secret deal to sell Alaska to Iran.
7. I write 50,000 words every day. What's the point of slowing down?
6. I'm lying in the doorway letting ants crawl over me.
5. November isn't just NaNoWriMo, kids. It's also Aviation History Month, Peanut Butter Lovers Month, and Epilepsy Awareness Month. Once you're through celebrating all that, who has time to write a novel?
4. I'm a talentless hack and everything I write is shite and oh god I need a drink...
3. The novel is dead. Actually, wait... War and Peace just jumped up, crawled off my bookshelf and got something to drink, so never mind.
2. Busy eating yams. Yams yams yams yams.
And the number one reason is:
1. My computer has internet.
Ten reasons.
10. November 15th is the start of seal-hunting season. Novels are all well and good, but a man needs blubber.
9. My "world's best writer" coffee mug just broke and now I'm useless.
8. I tried to tune my Mormon brain-sucking powers to pick up my fellow writers' talent, but instead I got President Obama's secret deal to sell Alaska to Iran.
7. I write 50,000 words every day. What's the point of slowing down?
6. I'm lying in the doorway letting ants crawl over me.
5. November isn't just NaNoWriMo, kids. It's also Aviation History Month, Peanut Butter Lovers Month, and Epilepsy Awareness Month. Once you're through celebrating all that, who has time to write a novel?
4. I'm a talentless hack and everything I write is shite and oh god I need a drink...
3. The novel is dead. Actually, wait... War and Peace just jumped up, crawled off my bookshelf and got something to drink, so never mind.
2. Busy eating yams. Yams yams yams yams.
And the number one reason is:
1. My computer has internet.
posted by Spencer at 7:51 PM
3 Comments:
I like the ones I made up. You're a funny kid. Love you.
My number one reason is:
Spencer is going to do it, and we can't have two writers in the family. That would just be wrong, like having two hairdressers or two serial killers.
.
My computer has internet too.
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