Come on, Kick Me!
Conversation with the brain-damaged guy I work with, as we ate burgers yesterday:
Me: How's the burger, Steve?
Steve: It's great, Matthew!
Me: My name's not Matthew.
Steve: Yes it is, f*ckface!
He's great. Whenever he's in a good mood, he laughs and says, "Yeah! Come on, kick me in the ass right now!"
At some point I got in this weird side career of taking care of mentally disabled people. Nothing in my education points to this, but I got a job to help put me through college taking care of three mentally disabled men, and then I managed their house,. I've been working this stuff ever since. Whenever I need to pay some extra bills, I go out and find a job taking care of some disabled folk.
These guys can be hilarious. I'll share with you one more conversation, this time with a schizophrenic man and one of my employees as they walked by the Provo River.
Employee: Brandon, are you keeping it real?
Brandon: I'm not a gangster anymore.
Employee: Brandon, you don't have to be a gangster to be keeping it real.
(At this point a man with fairly brown skin of indeterminate ethnicity passes by.)
Brandon: (to passerby) I AM NOT A GANGSTER ANYMORE!
Me: How's the burger, Steve?
Steve: It's great, Matthew!
Me: My name's not Matthew.
Steve: Yes it is, f*ckface!
He's great. Whenever he's in a good mood, he laughs and says, "Yeah! Come on, kick me in the ass right now!"
At some point I got in this weird side career of taking care of mentally disabled people. Nothing in my education points to this, but I got a job to help put me through college taking care of three mentally disabled men, and then I managed their house,. I've been working this stuff ever since. Whenever I need to pay some extra bills, I go out and find a job taking care of some disabled folk.
These guys can be hilarious. I'll share with you one more conversation, this time with a schizophrenic man and one of my employees as they walked by the Provo River.
Employee: Brandon, are you keeping it real?
Brandon: I'm not a gangster anymore.
Employee: Brandon, you don't have to be a gangster to be keeping it real.
(At this point a man with fairly brown skin of indeterminate ethnicity passes by.)
Brandon: (to passerby) I AM NOT A GANGSTER ANYMORE!
posted by Spencer Ellsworth at 1:27 PM
4 Comments:
He just wants to let the world know.
Good thing you put the * in f*ck, otherwise Rachel might have unlinked your blog.
Have you thought that maybe your name actually MIGHT be Matthew?
Yes.
I decided it was actually Terrence.
This is hilarious. I laughed really really hard. Thank you.
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